The semester is coming to an end with only 3 days of class left.  I wish I had more time to process the emotional impact this might have on me, except I’ve been pretty distracted lately with the promise of moving out on my own (like, on my own own.  A bachelor apartment West of Toronto, closer to school and to work, and with more opportunities to walk around my apartment naked…) and with a new job starting (two movie theatres, in case you were curious.  Not huge money, but the promise of full time means lots of work and no time to spend any of the money I make… hopefully that will help me pay back some of my current school/Subway related debts.  Also, I might get to walk around naked.)

I suppose it’s because it doesn’t really seem as though anything is actually finishing.  For some, this is the end.  Many have decided they do not wish to return to complete the program next year, and to them I wish good luck (and good riddance) 😛 For me, I see this as a temporary break, in which I can take some time to write things I haven’t been able to write because I’ve been too busy writing other things for school and wasting hours on the streetcar.  Fully clothed.  Don’t worry.

I keep thinking living in this new apartment and working a new job will somehow contribute to my way-of-life as I seem to have lost some of my enthusiasm for this program and for performing comedy in general lately.  I don’t want to stop doing it, I just think I just need a break from the day-to-day chauvinist rape jokes and the endless inside-my-head guessing what kinds of criticisms people are making about me, pretty well everywhere I go.  Ah… sweet sweet anxiety.  Hopefully this whole “living-on-my-own” thing will also encourage other kinds of good behaviour, particularly in the health department. (No more trips to the OJJJJJJJJJJ’s for a constant re-supply of sunflower seeds and Coke.)

I guess my general state-of-mind in blogland is that Clown College will soon be on hiatus.  I intend to keep blogging throughout the summer to keep everyone informed of my progress in comedy-related endeavours; stand-up gigs, improv or sketch stuff or any other musings on the subject.

So, if anyone still cares, thanks for following along with me on this first-year of my journey and I hope you keep reading and commenting.  It means a lot to me.  If you keep reading, I might tell you what I learned about why chickens are so fascinated by road-crossing.

I’m the kind of person who does like to read film reviews and who hates to hear my friends’ reviews about movies because I almost consistently disagree with them.  There are a few people in the world who I trust when it comes to movie reviews; the kind that can knowingly say: “I loved it, Brie.  But you would hate it.”  Or… “Just shut up and go see it. Trust me, you’ll like it.”

One of these people has written a review for the new ARTHUR flick starring Russell Brand.  If you were thinking about going to see it, read this review because this guy knows what he’s talking about.

Click on the image below for the review:

It’s both funny and cruel, in comedy, that all it takes is one negative review to throw off your confidence.  A room full of people can tell you that you performed admirably, that you were funny or that you killed, and all it takes is one person to tell you that you didn’t reach their expectations to throw you into a spiraling pit of self-loathing and doubt.

Do we all focus on the negative?  Is it just me?  And if it is just me, I am on an ongoing search to find out how to brush off negative comments, feelings and reactions and how to better accept criticism.

On that note, a few things have happened since I last posted here:

THE SKETCHES

Our assigned sketch troupe performed our sketches last week.  In my opinion, things went better than last semester’s performances in that everyone memorized their lines and nothing was throw onto a drum set backstage.  With respect to editing, our teacher brought up a point, which I think applies to the entire creative process; dealing with ego.  Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be any way around it.  The best you can do is hope to work with people who can control theirs and don’t let it interfere with the steps of the process.

Working in groups in this sketch class has definitely helped me to see what kinds of people I can and cannot work well with.  I was also surprised to see what kinds of personalities can truly hinder or benefit the team spirit, despite their behaviour in every other social setting.  As an observer of human interaction, I found it truly fascinating.  I also got to know a bit more about how my own ego is affected by the criticisms of others.  All I can say is, how else did you think an anxious neurotic to react?

THE CLOWNING

Miss Dar would be pleased to know that I found some use for my tap shoes after all these years.  Though I no longer take dance classes, it turns out my shoes were helpful in the presentation of a clown piece I performed, in which my tap shoes were somehow magic and transformed me from being sad and lonely to happy and attention-seeking.  Clowning is a pretty interesting activity because it allows you to push many social boundaries you didn’t know existed when you were a child.  Now, as an adult, it is difficult to go back to that state of mind, but once achieved, it can be a very freeing experience.

Man, I sound like a hippie.

THE ROLE REVERSAL

In acting class, I performed a scene from Annie Hall in which I played Woody Allen.  Big surprise for the kids in my class.  (Yeah, no, not at all.  I’m all for gender-bending!)  It turned out to seem more of a terrible impression than my own take on the lines, so hopefully, with a bit of work, I’ll be able to put my own spin on this genius’ character.

THE HOST WITH THE MOST

I had the honour and pleasure of hosting a comedy show at Sirens last night.  It’s basically a basement with a small stage with a mic set-up, speakers and lights in an otherwise very basementy setting in which many fellow students meet weekly to try out some of their new material.   My job was to open the show with a few jokes, try to get the audience pumped and to give each of the performers an adequate introduction.  For those of you who were not able to attend, I thought it clever to introduce each of the guests in a relatively unique way, by stating which position in the Kama Sutra I would wish to perform on/with them, under ideal circumstances.   (I wouldn’t really Mom, don’t worry.   But it was funny nonetheless.)  Though we all got a bit restless at the end, (as we typically do,) all in all it was a great experience and I’m looking to further opportunities such as this one to host a show filled with quality comedy!

THE AGING

I recently turned 27.  My family came to Toronto for the occasion and I caught a ridiculously talented Blues performance, a ridiculously exciting (and in the end disappointing) Blue Jays game and a ridiculously funny film. (PAUL, see it.  Love it.)  I can’t help but feel depressed around my birthday though, especially surrounded by a bunch of kids who are significantly younger and who have decided to pursue this comedy dream sooner rather than later, like this old fart.  I know that’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but at the same time, birthdays always make me feel nostalgic.  The realization that time is passing so quickly hits particularly hard and the only thing I can think to do about it is to go on trying to make other people and myself laugh about this crazy, crazy world before it’s too late and we’re all overtaken by the alien overlords.

Good night everybody.