Month: November 2013

2013-11-22 21.22.01
Weezer @ Rama 2013

Ever seen a rock concert at Casino Rama?

Either that place is really tame or I’m getting old to the point where the bands I like are only performing venues where the fans can’t/don’t move anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, Weezer totally killed it last night. They were really tight and the hits kept on coming and coming, I didn’t want it to end.  What I did want to do, was stand-up and rock out.  But, given the nature of the venue, apparently the only people who stand up are the few people on the ground level that charge to the stage within the first few seconds of play.  The rest of the audience sit back, bob, and that’s about it.  A few people sing.  A few drunk people try to impress their significant others by dancing terribly, but everybody else is all about the bob.

It reminded me of Bluesfest in Ottawa.  No offence, Ottawa.  But when people get pissed off at you because you’re standing in front of their lawn chair, 15 rows into the crowd of a fargin’ rock concert, it’s time to take the earplugs out and listen up.

Rock isn’t supposed to be comfortable.  It’s supposed to make you stand up, dance, punch the sky and air-drum until your arms go numb.  I don’t want to sit down at a rock concert.  I want to charge the stage and shout my head off along with drunken fools and people who’ve kept cocaine in necklaces to avoid being caught by security on the way in.  I want to flank the crowd and sneak my way to the front, like I’ve been doing for years.  I want that slight, tiny, minuscule chance that the people performing on stage will reach out and give me a high five, or at least, make eye contact and, if only for a second, acknowledge my existence.

Or, if I get tickets in the stands, I at LEAST want to stand up and sing along to the hits, without worrying the people behind me sitting down’a experience will be compromised due to my, God forbid, desire to have some fun.  For Pete’s sake world,  get off your asses!  It’s a rock show.

You sit on your ass all day long at work (well I do, anyway.) How does something like this not make you want to stand up and just have the time of your fucking life?

You want one piece of advice, starting out comedian?  Don’t move to the suburbs.  

This lesson I learned the hard way and tried to rectify by responding to an ad on Craigslist for a reasonably priced basement apartment at Bloor and Ossington.  Fantastic location for a striving comic.  Less than 5 minutes walk to the subway.  Stumbling distance to Comedy Bar.  Perfect.  I went to check the place out and everything.  It wasn’t great.  But with a woman’s touch, it could look pretty damn adorable down there.  Also, my pet cat Peanut has a way of making any living space adorable.

The landlady agreed that I could bring by a deposit for the apartment and I was thrilled.  I would be moving back downtown.  After 2 years in Etobicoke, and a brief stint in Mississauga in an attempt to save some money, I would be back in the centre of the action, and I could not wait.  I could dream-taste the downtown garbage-day air already…

 January 1st 2014;  with Second City’s Conservatory program now complete, moving into a new place, I’d have more time free than I’ve had in a while.  Time to get back out there.  Do more stand-up, more improv, more storytelling.  Maybe meet some people willing to work together in a sketch troupe.  Get working on my writing; spec scripts, originals.  The whole nine.  Productivity ahoy!  This is going to be THE year.  But then…

RENEGE!

The landlady informs me in a poorly structured e-mail (weird, for a former teacher) that her current tenant is not able to leave when he said he would.  Which begs the question… WHAT THE FUCK were you posting an ad on Craiglist for if you weren’t even sure your fucking tenant was going to be leaving?  It’s like.. “Here!  Do you want to buy this car?  Yes? Well too bad, you can’t  It’s not for sale, sucker! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

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I’m fairly certain that’s the entire point of an online marketplace.  You don’t put something up, unless it’s good and goshdarn available!  I’m sure somewhere there’s a law against this type of flaking, but because no money was exchanged, it’s really just a matter of screwing over the person you lead on, then crushing her hopes and dreams.  (Dramatic, much?)

I know an argument can be made for the fact that it is possible to be a performer and live in the ‘burbs, but personally, I feel as though I’m wasting SO much time on the commute, which drains my energy and my drive.   If I stay in town after working an 8 hour shift, to see a show  instead of say, going home and preparing dinner, then going back to town to see a show, I’m saving time, but draining my wallet.  Ultimately, it’s a vaccuum of wasting time and money on eating out, gas, parking etc.  I think living in town, even though rent is more expensive, the ultimate savings occur in time.

So now it’s back to the drawing board.  I’m off to spend hours on Craigslist, Kijiji, ViewIt.ca and other such sites in an ongoing search for a convenient, not horrible location that won’t break me financially and/or morally (that’s right, I’m not moving to Parkdale.)

Keep your eyes open for me please, friends.  And never, ever move to the suburbs if you want to keep performing comedy at this early and fragile stage.

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So, I freakin’ loved this book.  I was so happy that the main character was such a smart (shall we say geeky – but like, the Star Wars kind – not the “good at math” kind), strong yet insecure, down-to-earth, no-nonsense, hilarious and totally ass-kicking.  Geri is all the women I know who are so underepresented in literature and TV and media in general, but Gary Pearson brings this firecracker to life with such charm and compassion, and surrounds her with great supporting characters, some you love and some you’d love to see get hit by a truck.

The contrast between reality (the day-to-day; work, living accommodations, friends, family, Hamilton) and the dream-world of reality TV ($$$, hot babes, hockey stars and more $$$) are so wonderfully contrasted and eventually tangled that you become enthralled in the story and really feel for Geri and think; “What will she to choose?  What would I choose?”

And let’s be honest, anything that has to do with Reality TV that actually makes you think and feel is an amazing accomplishment on its own!  Read this book and feel something!