Toying Around

I was toying around with shutting this blog down because I hadn’t really been writing in it lately / because I’m a long time out of clown college / because every time I type up a blog post I delete it because it’s been written in an emotional frenzy that will bring along feelings of shame and regret.

Then I thought… hey isn’t that all part of this?

I mean, maybe it isn’t. But it has been for me, so I’m going to keep writing when I’m inspired. Or when I have time.

Time’s been a tricky thing lately. (see: always.) I’m back working a full-time job, which I had the pleasure of not having to do for a few years. Turns out that life’s only possible for a certain echelon of society not impacted by the increase of interest rates.

The weird thing about the job is that I really like it; I feel valued by my co-workers, I like the environment, I’m not someone’s assistant. I friggin’ got promoted within my first year of being there. (Temporarily – but that’s beside the point.)

Counterpoint. It’s not particularly creative, which means I still have to find time to perform, teach, learn and engage with the comedy (mainly improv) world’ my true joy and passion and love but that sadly doesn’t provide the same benefits as a Joe job. I’m both amazed and suspicious when I hear folks are able to make it work. I haven’t solved the puzzle (yet.)

This summer, the great city of Detroit helped me feel the at least some pieces were fitting. In May, the gals from Improv Niagara embarked on an awesome adventure down to the Detroit Women in Comedy Festival for a weekend of performance, learning, teamwork, Faygo and fun. Did you know weed is incredibly cheap in Michigan? You do now. If you seek pleasantly inexpensive edibles, look about you!

We stayed for a few nights in the neighbourhood of Hamtramck, which is incredibly fun to say. We arrived just barely on time to catch Susan Messing and Jamie Moyer serve up an education in hilarious duo improv. We took workshops, then got up on stage and did some hands-on learning of our own. I came home feeling refreshed, despite having stayed up very late.

In August, this time to Ferndale for a quicker visit, I made my debut performance in the Detroit Improv Festival with pals from Everything Improvised. We performed an improvised episode of the Bear, and I got to portray the performance stylings of local Niagara hero, Matty Matheson. The set was a joy, but the trip was brief. In future, I’d love to take in more of the fest.

I’m still doing the thing. I’m not sure why my mind keeps telling me I’m not doing the thing just because I have a day job again. Just because I’m doing the thing as a commuter. Just because I keep comparing myself to people who seem to be having a much easier time doing the thing. (what do I know?) Just because I’m friggin’ blogging about doing the thing instead of just doing the thing.

I was also toying around with changing the name of the blog, since we’re a long way away from clown college as it’s been abundantly clear more of this blog has been about navigating the comedy community as an anxious person. The anxious improviser? Too easy? anxiousimproviser69. There it is.

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