Category: Clown College

2012 was a pretty crazy year.  I just went back and re-read most of my posts from the previous year and how much actually happened in 2012.  I said to myself earlier that I was looking forward to 2013, a fresh start.  But, now that I think about it a bit more, it’s going to be dang tough to top all the amazing things that happened in 2012.  I mean, Dave Foley bought me a beer for Pete’s sake!

I was going to draft a list of my top 2012 influencers on Twitter for 2012; people who had really help shape the year into what it was, but as I got to page 4 of my list, I thought two things; I don’t want to type all these people’s names out, and holy cow – what a great year it was; not just for performing, but for meeting people and becoming further connected as part of this wonderful community of funny people & performers in Toronto. Though it has its seedy underbelly, there’s also a crap-load of amazingly talented and friendly people as well. I’m pleased, because that’s exactly why I started this blog – so I can look back on it and remember the challenges as well as the victories, the obstacles and the peaks initially of clown college, but now expanded to the entirety of this funny little subculture.

When it comes down to it… all I’m saying is… I’m sure glad the world didn’t end this year and as crazy as 2012 was, I’m sure there’s lots more in store for 2013! Bring it on!

Last night was the first time I performed on the actual Amateur Night at Yuk Yuk’s downtown Toronto.  I don’t know why it took me so long to get my ass up on that show, but nevertheless, it happened last night and it went… meh.  It was, alright.

It was a much less forgiving crowd than the Yuk’s experiences I’ve had so far with Humber nights.   Also, I had to take the bullet.  Which I hate, even when someone as awesome and hilarious as Mark Little is hosting the thing.

It was fun to see some fresh newbies who’d never ever done stand-up before as well as a variety of comics more, shall I say aged…, than those I’m used to seeing at the open mics around town.

IN SUMMATION, it was a mediocre first time.

Womp womp.

BUT, what better motivation to work harder and one day win over the Amateur Night crowd?!

Bring it, Yuk Yuk’s.

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A seat belt on a bicycle.  What was I THINKING?

Two Years of fun. Pessimistic, passive aggressive fun.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Clown College Confessions!

There are two things I would have liked to have ready to post on this, the second anniversary of my little blog:

  • The First:  to have had enough money to finally convert it to its own domain name and;
  • The Second:  to have been able to post photos from Fresh Meat and talked about the upcoming Cream of Comedy show.

But as it turns out, I’m still broke and I didn’t make it onto Cream of Comedy…

SO…

…this adorable teddy bear will have to suffice, OK?   ALRIGHT?!?!?!  What’s wrong?  A cute teddy bear NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YA?  Well we’ll see about THAT!!!!

Somebody get me some chocolate cake.

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The author of Clown College Confessions is experiencing some technical (see: psychological) difficulties.  Please try again later.

Fresh Meat is over friends. We can all breathe again! Inhale some of that delicious oxygen! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe out. Nope, not working. Still on edge! Well, I guess it’s time to sign up for a new yoga class, Brie!

The Fresh Meat show was a huge success!  The theatre was full (not full-full – because I know what that looks and feels like – but, good full), the masses were laughing and the comics were knocking ’em dead.  All in all, what a wonderful show to have been a part of!

Props & hugs to the producer, Dee and to everyone else I saw running around working hard!  ( Photographer James & Emily backstage +DJ the host) for such a smooth running professional evening. Even content-wise, I was pleased to see a good number of smart, sophisticated humour –  (mixed in with a very healthy blend of the irreverent.)

It was also so great to see all the fun people I normally work alongside, smiling encouragingly as I told a very embarrassing story on stage and reaffirming me afterwards that I didn’t stink!

As silly as it sounds to say it though, I think my highlight of the night was the moment I walked out of the green room after my performance and thought: “PHEW!!  It’s DONE!  Now I can just sit back and actually ENJOY the show!”  I think DJ Demers, the host, summed it up pretty nicely when he commented on how a bunch of the comics were puking backstage because they were so nervous.  It was a nerve-wracking show.  And a healthy dose of competition is good, sure.  Fine.  But this isn’t athletics.  It’s not like we all go at once and then the fastest, or the furthest wins.  I do not envy the performers who had to sit through the entire show, seeing all the performers kill and think – “Oh jeez, I have to do better than him, and her, and them etc.”  Whereas I got to just rip mine off like a Band-Aid.

Most of the time, I like to go last or near-last at a stand-up show, but definitely not in competition, I learned.

It was great to see the members of the community, once again assembled to celebrate and encourage those starting out in the business.  It’s great to hear that that’s what Tim Sims was about – because it’s not an easy thing to get into and to continually rationalize and justify as your debts pile higher, but your gigs get better… slowly.  Slowly.  And you work well into the night – performing, writing, re-writing, rehearsing, hounding down colleagues to coordinate stuff, producing, etc.  It’s not easy.  But is it worth it?

Three minutes, we got on Monday.

Three minutes to myself on the Second City main stage.

You’re damn right it was worth it!

This actually comes at a pretty appropriate time, given the fact that I didn’t end up getting the administrative job I’d interviewed for last week.  And I’m broke.  And unDERemployed.

It’s an interview with my school pal, who shall not be named, about how hard it is to find a job these days.  And, who makes a brief appearance?  None other than yours truly… dressed as a dog.

Yup.  First time I’m on TV, and I’m dressed as a dog.

Check it out HERE!

 

There it is folks; shaking the President’s hand as I walk off with a brand-spankin’ new college diploma. The end of an era; an era filled with ups, downs, highs, lows, rape jokes and more uses of the c-word than I’d ever thought possible.  Yesterday, at the Toronto Congress Centre, along with a handful of my fellow colleagues, my parents & my man in attendance, I completed the final element of the Humber CollegeComedy: Writing & Performanceprogram.  And no.  That does not mean you get to stop reading my blog now.  Because as the title suggests, the end of my time at Humber is, just that; an end. An end to the daily classroom routine, an end to 9am stand-up & improv comedy classes, but I think most notably an end to one hell of a LOT of stressful social scenarios.

Phew.  Breath it in, readers.  Closure.

That being said, it also marks the beginning.  The beginning of a life devoted to humour.  From here on in, the performance and the quality of my work is in my hands alone and will not be judged or criticized by the same group of 11 others day in, day out.  (Until/if I get a job in a writer’s room.)  It’s the beginning of new sketch troupe potentials (Cumin Rice Violation, anyone?), the beginning of spec script writing, story writing in general, play writing, book writing, writing writing, the beginning of job hunting for something in the biz, as lame as the job may be.  The beginning of a life in which I received a hug from Andrew Clark. (Victory!) Also, very excitingly (ALMOST as exciting as the hug,) it’s the beginning of my improv training at The Second City.

I had my first class today with instructor Brian G. Smith who, I’m told, is an excellent teacher.  (So far, this stands true. :P) My classmates come from all sorts of different walks of life; journalists, mothers, actors, tradespeople & they all seem super nice/fun/cool.  Many of them took Level B together last term, so they’re all very tight & familiar with one another, but they’re quite warm and welcoming, so you don’t get that sense of high school cliquerie.

It’s also the beginning of my life with an air conditioner. (Better grad gift than a frame, I’ll be the first to admit.)

Beginnings.  Lots of them.

I intend to take on these new beginnings with poise, dignity and of course, humility.  Oh hey?  Did I mention I got top of my class at Humber?  Yup.  Honours Award for Academic Excellence.  No big deal.  What?

I’m actually really super excited about this. #nerd4life

I’m sure you’re sitting on the edge of your seat right now just dying to know how the debut performance of Getting Even with Chesapeake turned out, so I won’t keep you in a state of suspense.

Or will I?

HAHAHAHAHAHA Blah blah blooooooooo lalahfjdhfkdakda.

No, I won’t.  It went fine.  We didn’t move on in the competition, but it was fun to be performing sketch comedy again in a non-academically-obligatory kinda way.  It was also great to perform in an non-entirely Humber-based audience.  Helps to shed some objectivity on life in general, as a whole.

Buuuut that being said… congrats to troupes Sketch & The City, Jape and Parker & Seville for moving on to the next round of the contest!

I’m going to go back to Sketch Com-ageddon tonight to catch more of the action because I loooooove sketch comedy! (And because performers get a 4-free show pass.)

Good luck to all you bloodthirsty troupes!

In light of the recent dump the National Post took on female comedians, (see: The Bullshit) – and taking into consideration both my background in the Humanities as well as my experience in Humber College’s Comedy: Writing & Performance program, I must admit, there are many sociological elements to the Canadian comedy subculture that could do with an intense analysis, but I hardly think the physical appeal (or lack thereof) of certain female comics is the most pressing.

How about the fact that most comics I know either suffer from an attention deficit disorder, an anxiety disorder or some other social, psychological or chemical instability?  Maybe some insight into that would make for an interesting read.  What is it about comedy that attracts so many people suffering from mental or developmental health issues?  That could be insightful!  So many of us use the stage as free therapy already, why not throw a Masters student in the crowd to find out more?

Or…what if you studied the socio-economic impact of the female stand-up comic vs. the male.  Instead of focusing on matters implemented by Western societal views on beauty, maybe we should have the researchers examine that element of the female stand-up comedian – her drive, her business savvy, her hard work.  Nope.  Don’t wanna think about it.  She’s a fatty, that’s all that matters.

Or many have someone look into the reason why SO MANY comics, both starting out and intermediate, find it so necessary to tell rape joke after rape joke after rape joke.  What is it they’re all trying to satisfy?  (Oh yeah, here Brie goes again… always bitching at us for talking about rape.)  Well what the fuck is it that so many of you find so damn appealing about the most painful and humiliating experience to ever happen to a woman – and to treat it so lightly?   I get it – take the things that matter the most to people and make light of them – that’s comedy – we do it about Politics and Religion all the time (that being said, Priest pedophile jokes are hack by now, OK? And so are jokes about clothes hangers or throwing pregnant women down flights of stairs.)  But why rape?  Especially when the jokes are being told by late teen to early twenty some-odd virgin douchebags who don’t know the first thing about the severity of this issue on a grand scheme.  Why is stand-up comedy obsessed with rape?  Let’s get some Women’s Studies PhD candidates to find THAT out?

Anything ANYTHING instead of how physically appealing they are. That’s not science.  That’s a tabloid.