One year ago today, I woke up to find a Dear John in my Facebook Inbox.  At that point I was 26-years old and held a respectable job for the Government.  I was and still am an adult.  But one year ago, this 26 year-old adult got Facedumped.  Five months later, I tweaked the tale a bit and told it to a crowd of strangers on stage at Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Club in downtown Toronto.  It was one of my most successful sets to date.

To those of you who did not know me then, at the time, I was devastated.  It was a pretty dark time in Brie’s little world.  But to those facing relationship hardship, drama or break-ups, keep in mind; you never know…that which hurts the most also brings the most laughter and comfort to others.

Part of me feels like I should be thankful to the man that caused such pain and suffering, but I’m not.  The douchebag dumped me on Facebook for shit’s sake.  What are you, a socially-inept child-man?… Giant chicken-shit!!

Since I’ve been to Humber, many of the teachers have told me it might be best not to be in a relationship if you’re a comic, because a) you don’t want your partner holding you back and b) nobody in their right mind should want to be with a comedian.  That being said, relationships are fantastic fodder for a set because most people are either in them, just getting out of them or longing to be in one.  Why wouldn’t you want to give the people something they can relate to, then laugh at when they compare how not-terrible their circumstances are in comparison.

One thing I remember about having just been dumped is how happy and close all the couples I knew seemed to act around me.  I hated it at the time and wished sorrow upon everyone.  But the more I did, the more it was as if they were unconsciously reassuring each other that neither of them would be so shitty as to break up with the other over a social media tool, or at all, for that matter.  They didn’t have to do anything and their strength as a couple rubbed me like salt in an open wound.  Based on that experience, I can see how much of an impact shared and common social interactions, like a break-up, can have on the people in the audience.

And with that I acknowledge that a year has past and that not only am I still breathing, but I’m doing things and going places I never thought possible only one year ago.

…

So fuck you.

 

Today was an epic day of women’s empowerment.  Or at least, it was a step towards what will become a collaborative effort towards women’s empowerment.  The women in this field have to put up with so much, and what we deal with at Humber is only, I imagine, the tip of the iceberg.  Or maybe it’s worse than that, maybe being called bitch, cunt, feminazi, etc., are some of the harsher things we have to deal with, and once that’s overcome, what awaits us post-graduation will be a walk in the park, so to speak…at nighttime, without fear.

Fortunately, I’m not so naive.

Thank you ladies.  We MUST do this again,… soon.

Solidarity, sisters!

My last performance got me thinking a little about what I like the most about stand-up comedy and what I discovered is that I like the truth. Wow, right?  What a concept.  But follow me… I like the raw, embarrassing truths that all human beings have in common.  Set aside dick and masturbation jokes and enter Thursday’s “Awkward” show at Comedy Bar.  It was a series of performers, mostly comics, telling real-life stories that happened to them. They varied in nature, but one thing they had in common was this notion of “this is the kind of thing that happens to us all.”  The only difference is, most human beings try to forget these events ever occurred, whereas we comics like to recount the tales over and over and over again, to make people laugh and just for a second, as a friend of mine at the show put it, to make people feel like their lives are pretty damn OK in comparison.

One woman shared some of her writings from when she was pregnant, another read from her grade school and high school diaries.  One gentleman recounted his experience with a panicky first kiss, well into his twenties!  For me, it was an unfortunate bicycle accident.  (Which to some of you who have heard the story, know that that’s somewhat of an understatement.)  The stories were great, and they even inspire me to write some more personal/embarrassing tales, but with this brings along a certain amount of emotional baggage, unfortunately.

One of the guys mentioned that the Awkward show was like a therapy session, except instead of speaking to someone comforting, you’re on stage with bright lights shining in your face and rest of the room is so dark you wouldn’t know there was anyone in the audience, except you DO  know they’re there… and most of them are strangers. So, to tell a group of strangers some of the most intimate details of your life…not so therapeutic.    The bicycle story doesn’t really bother me, despite its private nature, because there wasn’t much emotionally involved…apart from the ridiculous amount of crying that took place and the bonding with my roommate that occurred as a result.  (I miss you, Steph!!)

I’ve been trying to think of some other tales I can tell, of a personal nature, with which many can sympathize, and a lot of what’s surfacing carries with it much emotional baggage.  I wonder if my colleagues in the Comedy program share these kinds of moments?!  Can one becomes able to separate emotions and feelings of say; sadness, loneliness, pain or fear in order to produce comedy.  It seems like a question of extraction.  For all the suffering you endure, there’s a tiny amount of funny you can squeeze out, and if successful, it’ll hit everyone else precisely where you want it to; on a level they all understand and that they can feel.

That’s what I want to do.  I want to make people feel.

Numbness and apathy can suck it.

Dear World,

Today, I performed in my first paid gig ever and I took home a big fat $9!  I’ve never been so happy to earn such a tiny amount of money! 🙂

I spent it this very night on a celebratory bellini from East Side Mario’s.

Life is good.

Hmmm.  I wonder if I’ll have to claim this as earnings on my taxes next year… teehee.

I headlined for the first time last night!  Hooray!  For those of you who are not aware, headlining a show is when you’re the last to go up during a stand-up show (or any show, I guess) & you typically get more time to tell your jokes than the other performers, and you’re typically responsible for making sure the people leave the show satisfied with the evening’s comedy.  I should mention that it was a last-minute invite to headline and I didn’t get paid for it or anything, but I was still very happy to a) headline for the first time b)have been trusted with headlining and c) got to work on my set for tonight’s Comedy Bar show.

So, big thanks to the Vest of Friends & all those in attendance at Sirens last night for letting me finish the show off making the entire crowd terribly uncomfortable.  Woohoo!

Now everybody come out to Comedy Bar tonight at 8pm for my first paid comedy gig!!!!! YAY!!!

 

Oh my goodness, shame on me for not posting more frequently.

Dearest readers, I have been so busy dishing out popcorn, I have had very little time to keep you all abreast of my current comedy-related endeavours, so allow this post to provide you with some helpful information to ensure you I’ve been doing more than cleaning up other people’s discarded Reese’s Pieces off sticky floors.

Paid Embarrassment

First off ladies and gentlemen, I will be performing in my first PAID gig this coming Thursday, June 2nd at Comedy Bar (a popcular venue for Comedy, for those of you not familiar with Toronto.)  That being said, the more people in attendance, the more money I can potentially make, so a) you should come watch the show and b) I don’t care, whatever.  If I make at least a toonie for this show, it’ll still be more than I’ve ever made before as a comic and I’ll judge it as a success.  The show is not actually stand-up comedy.  Rather it’s a series of comics telling real-life painfully embarrassing stories.  It should be painful in the way watching Ricky Gervais is painful…, delightfully so.

The show’s called Awkward: A Show of Epic Fails.  If you click on the title, you’ll be redirected to the Facebook event page, where you can find out more information about the show and RSVP that you will be in attendance.

Launch Party

The next big news is the Launch Party/Performance for the comedy troupe LaughDraft, of which I am a founding member.  On June 24th, we’ve got a venue, a liquor license & a bunch of fun new comedy to perform live as we celebrate the launch of our comedy website: www.laughdraft.com.  It would be amazing if any of you reading this could attend the launch and even more amazing if those of you who can’t make the launch check out the website and support our big project!  This is such an exciting project to work on because it includes so many different types of sketches and stand-up because there’s such a diversity among the comics contributing to the site.  It’s definitely something to look out for & really appreciate all of your support!

Anyhoodlydoo, I’ve slowly been sipping sangria (through a straw) throughout the typing of this post and am now sufficiently tipsy to acknowledge the fact I should stop typing.  Also, living by the Humber river has its disadvantages.  There are gnats in my apartment.  So many gnats.  I hate gnats.  But I love the word gnat.

So remember, Thursday June 2nd & Friday June 24th.  Come support you’re local cheese-named friend!

Until next time, g’night… (or g’nat?)

 

Whoa.  It’ feels like it’s been ages since I’ve posted on this beast.  It’s difficult to work on a blog when you don’t have access to the Internet other than on your phone.  And even then, I was worried about extra charges due to excessive data usage.  But that being said, the Internet’s up and running, the cable’s up and running (which I haven’t had in like… months, so it’s a crazy huge life advancement, even though it’s only basic.  Whatevskies, I get On Demand.  That’s totally worth something, right?) and the apartment is all set up and ready to go. The home-life is nearing stability.

OK.  Comedy updates!:

Toronto Comedy Brawl

My ego took a massive blow tonight as, even though I think I had a decent set, I didn’t get to move on to the actual Comedy Brawl.  I competed in what’s known as the Gauntlet Round, but it seems that’s as far as she goes for me because I didn’t get enough votes to move on.  I suppose Toronto isn’t ready to hear about Brie’s labia just yet. I do think there were some really worthy competitors though and it was great to see some local comics perform… then defeat me mercilessly.   On the plus side, I was asked to perform in an upcoming stand-up show featuring awkward true stories, of which I have plenty.  So, where a door closes, a window opens or whatever that saying is.  More info on that show to come.  Stay tuned.

If you’re interested in upcoming Comedy Brawl dates, you can check out the link on the title of this paragraph.

All-Night Sketch Party

I don’t know if I mentioned it in this blog yet, but a few of my colleagues from school are working on putting together a Comedy website featuring our sketches, various performances, some written and basically a whole big load of awesomely funny stuff for everybody.  It’ll be called Laugh Draft because it features us beginner comics.  To launch the site, we were hoping to film a sketch that features most of the website members, so we all shipped out to Milton for the evening and went all through the night filming a sketch, which is currently in the editing process.  I hope you all check out the video when it is released, which will probably coincide with the launching of the web-site.  This will be an exciting time for all of us, so I hope whoever reads this takes a look at the site from time to time too.

Anyway, the filming was a lot of fun and it was great to work on this project with my fellow provinces and territories.  (You’ll see.)  We wrapped at about 6:30 a.m. & I was completely out of it for days afterward.

Producing the Devil’s Cellar

Every Wednesday, a group of guys from the second year of my program put on an open-mic night in the basement of an Irish pub.  Last week, all of the guys were busy preparing for a big show coming up so I volunteered to run the show in their absence.  In comedy, running a show like this is apparently called “producing,” so last week was the first time I produced a show.  It went pretty well, I think.  The atmosphere was very lax and many people went up who weren’t prepared, but on the whole I think everybody had a good time, which I think is a good thing for the first show I’ve ever run.  Hopefully I’ll get to do more of that in the future.  Like, I’d thought about putting a show together in Welland sometime over the summer with some of the comics I’ve met from the Niagara Region and making it a fundraiser or something.  Anyway, those plans to come as well…

2011 Humber College Industry Show

Every year, my program puts on an end-of-year performance with its second year students who’ve really shone throughout the program as well as a team of writers to create and edit the material.  This year, SCTV etc.’s Andrea Martin hosted the show, put on at the Second City’s mainstage.  I suppose the goal here is to be “discovered,” because many industry professionals are in the crowd; agents, etc.  But I also think it’s an honour for the students who get to perform because it really did seem to be a reward for having poured their hearts and hard work into this program.  Regardless of the outcome, regardless of how many students get agents because of this show or go on to be big and famous or become professional burger flippers, the show was fantastic.  I think it’s probably a highlight to these kids’ lives.  Something they’ll remember forever, regardless of where life takes them.  Congratulations to them all and uh… OH MY GOD I HOPE I GET TO BE IN THE SHOW NEXT YEAR.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ANDREW CLARK, PLEASE.

Ahum.

Mustn’t lose my composure.

Anyway, thanks for reading.  And next year, come vote for me for the Comedy Brawl so I can move on to the next round, okies?  I’m giving you all PLENTY of notice, so no excuses!!!

The semester is coming to an end with only 3 days of class left.  I wish I had more time to process the emotional impact this might have on me, except I’ve been pretty distracted lately with the promise of moving out on my own (like, on my own own.  A bachelor apartment West of Toronto, closer to school and to work, and with more opportunities to walk around my apartment naked…) and with a new job starting (two movie theatres, in case you were curious.  Not huge money, but the promise of full time means lots of work and no time to spend any of the money I make… hopefully that will help me pay back some of my current school/Subway related debts.  Also, I might get to walk around naked.)

I suppose it’s because it doesn’t really seem as though anything is actually finishing.  For some, this is the end.  Many have decided they do not wish to return to complete the program next year, and to them I wish good luck (and good riddance) 😛 For me, I see this as a temporary break, in which I can take some time to write things I haven’t been able to write because I’ve been too busy writing other things for school and wasting hours on the streetcar.  Fully clothed.  Don’t worry.

I keep thinking living in this new apartment and working a new job will somehow contribute to my way-of-life as I seem to have lost some of my enthusiasm for this program and for performing comedy in general lately.  I don’t want to stop doing it, I just think I just need a break from the day-to-day chauvinist rape jokes and the endless inside-my-head guessing what kinds of criticisms people are making about me, pretty well everywhere I go.  Ah… sweet sweet anxiety.  Hopefully this whole “living-on-my-own” thing will also encourage other kinds of good behaviour, particularly in the health department. (No more trips to the OJJJJJJJJJJ’s for a constant re-supply of sunflower seeds and Coke.)

I guess my general state-of-mind in blogland is that Clown College will soon be on hiatus.  I intend to keep blogging throughout the summer to keep everyone informed of my progress in comedy-related endeavours; stand-up gigs, improv or sketch stuff or any other musings on the subject.

So, if anyone still cares, thanks for following along with me on this first-year of my journey and I hope you keep reading and commenting.  It means a lot to me.  If you keep reading, I might tell you what I learned about why chickens are so fascinated by road-crossing.

I’m the kind of person who does like to read film reviews and who hates to hear my friends’ reviews about movies because I almost consistently disagree with them.  There are a few people in the world who I trust when it comes to movie reviews; the kind that can knowingly say: “I loved it, Brie.  But you would hate it.”  Or… “Just shut up and go see it. Trust me, you’ll like it.”

One of these people has written a review for the new ARTHUR flick starring Russell Brand.  If you were thinking about going to see it, read this review because this guy knows what he’s talking about.

Click on the image below for the review:

It’s both funny and cruel, in comedy, that all it takes is one negative review to throw off your confidence.  A room full of people can tell you that you performed admirably, that you were funny or that you killed, and all it takes is one person to tell you that you didn’t reach their expectations to throw you into a spiraling pit of self-loathing and doubt.

Do we all focus on the negative?  Is it just me?  And if it is just me, I am on an ongoing search to find out how to brush off negative comments, feelings and reactions and how to better accept criticism.

On that note, a few things have happened since I last posted here:

THE SKETCHES

Our assigned sketch troupe performed our sketches last week.  In my opinion, things went better than last semester’s performances in that everyone memorized their lines and nothing was throw onto a drum set backstage.  With respect to editing, our teacher brought up a point, which I think applies to the entire creative process; dealing with ego.  Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be any way around it.  The best you can do is hope to work with people who can control theirs and don’t let it interfere with the steps of the process.

Working in groups in this sketch class has definitely helped me to see what kinds of people I can and cannot work well with.  I was also surprised to see what kinds of personalities can truly hinder or benefit the team spirit, despite their behaviour in every other social setting.  As an observer of human interaction, I found it truly fascinating.  I also got to know a bit more about how my own ego is affected by the criticisms of others.  All I can say is, how else did you think an anxious neurotic to react?

THE CLOWNING

Miss Dar would be pleased to know that I found some use for my tap shoes after all these years.  Though I no longer take dance classes, it turns out my shoes were helpful in the presentation of a clown piece I performed, in which my tap shoes were somehow magic and transformed me from being sad and lonely to happy and attention-seeking.  Clowning is a pretty interesting activity because it allows you to push many social boundaries you didn’t know existed when you were a child.  Now, as an adult, it is difficult to go back to that state of mind, but once achieved, it can be a very freeing experience.

Man, I sound like a hippie.

THE ROLE REVERSAL

In acting class, I performed a scene from Annie Hall in which I played Woody Allen.  Big surprise for the kids in my class.  (Yeah, no, not at all.  I’m all for gender-bending!)  It turned out to seem more of a terrible impression than my own take on the lines, so hopefully, with a bit of work, I’ll be able to put my own spin on this genius’ character.

THE HOST WITH THE MOST

I had the honour and pleasure of hosting a comedy show at Sirens last night.  It’s basically a basement with a small stage with a mic set-up, speakers and lights in an otherwise very basementy setting in which many fellow students meet weekly to try out some of their new material.   My job was to open the show with a few jokes, try to get the audience pumped and to give each of the performers an adequate introduction.  For those of you who were not able to attend, I thought it clever to introduce each of the guests in a relatively unique way, by stating which position in the Kama Sutra I would wish to perform on/with them, under ideal circumstances.   (I wouldn’t really Mom, don’t worry.   But it was funny nonetheless.)  Though we all got a bit restless at the end, (as we typically do,) all in all it was a great experience and I’m looking to further opportunities such as this one to host a show filled with quality comedy!

THE AGING

I recently turned 27.  My family came to Toronto for the occasion and I caught a ridiculously talented Blues performance, a ridiculously exciting (and in the end disappointing) Blue Jays game and a ridiculously funny film. (PAUL, see it.  Love it.)  I can’t help but feel depressed around my birthday though, especially surrounded by a bunch of kids who are significantly younger and who have decided to pursue this comedy dream sooner rather than later, like this old fart.  I know that’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but at the same time, birthdays always make me feel nostalgic.  The realization that time is passing so quickly hits particularly hard and the only thing I can think to do about it is to go on trying to make other people and myself laugh about this crazy, crazy world before it’s too late and we’re all overtaken by the alien overlords.

Good night everybody.