Great news, folks – I was informed last night that I’ve been accepted into the Second City’s Conservatory Program! Huzzah! My audition went super well last week, despite my being fully stuffed of delicious prime rib because I’d left directly from our office Christmas luncheon (…if ever there was a first world problem…)
Then, I found I was way too sweaty to perform well in an audition so I ran to MEC to purchase a new sweater, which I did not wear at the audition because I thought it fit funny.
But it’s warm and cozy and I’ve been wearing it ever since immediately after the audition.
Anyway. I begin classes in January so stay tuned to find out more! 🙂
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For more information about the Conservatory program, (Mom!,) click on the image below:
So, whatever or whatever, but if you want to watch a kinda shitty-quality video of my stand-up from our October Comedy Before the Frost show in Montreal, click over yonder:
For anyone who’s ever been like: “Brie’s a smarty”…
I give you… Tuesday:
I missed work today because I have pink eye, which I probably got from choking on a piece of fudge the other day in my boss’ car. It “went down the wrong” tube, as they saying goes, and I coughed and sniffled to regain composure. Afterwards, I felt I may have put some strain on my sinuses, and yes, maybe even my eye. It’s all connected up there, anyway.
I ignored it at first, and realized when I got to my improv class that evening that the problem wasn’t going away. I attributed the redness to the fact that I was wearing a sheddy sweater all day or that I’d been decorating my office (both true) and that I must have got something in my eye. It was my last improv class for this term, and I’d already agreed to celebrate with my classmates at the local watering hole.
They said: “Go wash your eye out and let’s go!”
I obliged. And still I thought nothing of it.
The next morning at 4am, I woke up and my eye was swollen and leaking puss. I realized then the problem might be a bit more severe than initially assessed. Yet, I didn’t think it worthy of skipping work.
Eventually, I’d had enough of my colleagues asking me what was wrong with my eye and telling me that I should go see a doctor and looking at me like I was a wounded puppy.
I went to the local walk-in clinic, right as they were off for lunch and got shoo’d away by one of the workers there. Literally, shoo’d. By someone. Who works in a medical clinic. A human being.
Disheartened, and itchy and eye-rubby as all hell, I returned to the office and decided I couldn’t stay anymore. I drove home. Traffic on the DVP has never been better. I was able to get an appointment with my actual doctor/nurse practitioner, who diagnosed me with pink eye.
Then she gave me flu shot. I’ve already had the flu this year.
Afterwards, I lay on the cold hard floor of the community health centre bathroom to avoid passing out, given my irrational fear of needles. Immediately after that, a nutritionist informed me how to eat breakfast and lunch.
Well, I may have spent the past two days sick in bed, but tonight, I’ll finally be getting out of my PJs (or maybe just putting on a more socially acceptable going-out kinda PJs) for this event right here:
(Since the poster was made, we’ve also had two great additions to the line-up: Ned & Dave and Mark DeBonis. Huzzah!)
If you’re thinking about coming, and you’re not sure what kind of food items to bring, check out what some of the performers’ favourite canned goods and maybe you’ll be inspired:
Ned Petrie (of Ned & Dave):
“Pumpkin Pie Filling (although if they could actually ‘can’ the nature of ‘good’-ness, that would be the tops)”
David Tichauer (the Dave part of Ned & Dave):
“My favorite canned good is the laughter on the Flintstones.”
The Sues:
“Peaches… millions of peaches. we love canned peaches so much that we moved to the country where we found a nice man who put fresh peaches in a can. for us and only us… he did make us kiss him in his little dun buggy for each can, but they’re so delish that we were okay with it.”
Kristeen von Hagen:
“Soup! And Kraft dinner!”
James Kersley:
“Tuna combined with a can of corn. It’s a cheap student meal of protein and whatever corn is. (Chef Boyardee Ravioli is a close second)”
Vest of Friends:
Canned Pizza. It doesn’t exist yet but we’re working on it. We figure people like pizza, so why not put it in a can? Get it? We’re smart.”
All great ideas! Maybe some of you will end up bringing some canned pizza of your own to give to:
Click on the logo to find out more about how the Daily Bread helps in our community
I had the chance to catch up with some of the amazing acts performing on this show to ask them how they REALLY feel about mustaches and facial hair:
“There are those for whom I think it’s essential: Cult Members, Cult leaders, Indie Folksters, Wizards. For others I believe it is appropriate without being strictly necessary: Cowboys, Ring Leaders, Dock Workers, Henchmen. And, of course , there are those for whom facial hair is an absolute no-no: Babies, Police Officers, Amateur Ironists, Anglican Priests.” – Scott Montgomery, Falcon Powder.
Here’s another opinion about who should and shouldn’t have facial hair:
“Facial hair’s pretty neat, unless it’s on a girl.” – Ben Miner
(I’ll be sure to make an appointment to get my upper-lip waxed – AFTER tomorrow’s show!)
What do the mo-sistas think about facial hair?
“LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. Love it. Seriously. LOVE IT! Oh my god. Even thinking and typing it makes me happy. I am a beard lover, but I also love an ironic mustache!” – Debra DiGiovanni
Well, you are going to LOVE the ‘staches at Comedy Bar tomorrow night Debra because comedians are only capable of growing mustaches ironically. Little known fact.
Check out this coming-of-age-and-stache tale:
“We didn’t realize it was quite so much work! All of the waxing, flexing, watering it every day, etc. We feel a new respect for people that wear them all year round. The biggest problem is that it wakes us up all the time. We roll onto our faces as we sleep and it pokes us. Rolling onto your face as you sleep is normal, right?” – Marc Hallworth, Vest of Friends
Just as long as you continue to breathe, Marc. Just as long as you continue to breathe.
Wondering whether or not any of these acts have grown mustaches this Movember? Come to the show and find out! Here are a few hints for ya:
“…didn’t grow my mo this year- stupid electrolysis- so now I have to overcompensate with my eyebrows. It’s kind of a double mo!”
“…we grew bristles just above our lips. But they PASS as moustaches.”
“…I didn’t grow a mo this year because I already had a beard and didn’t wanna mess with my head shot for auditions and such.”
“No I did not. My reason is simple: I fear my mustache would, by virtue of its sheer wispiness, discourage people from donating and/or participating in this and all future Movembers. I’d hate to be responsible for something like that.”
Finally – if you were on the fence at all about coming to the show tomorrow night, maybe because you’re offended that people have been calling you ferret-face all month, and they have, read on to find out why these hilarious comics think YOU should be there:
“Its the end of another Movember and it needs to be glorified. Plus, Movember is for a good cause, laughing is awesome and it’s Wednesday. what else are you doing on a Wednesday, jerk?! :)” –Debra DiGiovanni
“Because making prostate cancer and subsequently this yearly blight of terrible moustaches a thing of the past is a doubly good cause.” – Scott Montgomery, Falcon Powder
“Beacuse we heard that Tom Selleck, Hitler, AND Ned Flanders will be there! How can you miss those classic staches!?” – Marc Hallworth, Vest of Friends
And finally…
“People should come to Laughstache tomorrow because if they don’t Rob Ford will light a flaming bag of his own poop on your doorstep. He has a lot of free time these days.” – Ben Miner
And ladies and gentlemen, I really do NOT want a piece of shit on my doorstep, OR the flaming bag!
So come on down!
Tickets are $15
All proceeds from ticket sales are going directly to the
I had my Level D improv show last night at the Second City Training Centre – it was a lot of fun despite my being tired from having just driven back into town from Niagara in a rental vehicle with New York license plates than I’m paranoid I will ding because I’m a terrible parker. But there you have it, the show went well and I got to spend the rest of this Sunday evening as far away from Grey Cup nonsense as possible! (SO glad I left King/Peter before the game let out. SO. glad.)
The newest episode of CatChatz was released to the world today. This one guest stars my buddy, the very funny and talented Erin Rodgers as a Pet Psychic/Therapist who tries to help Melanie Marble (Paige McIntyre) get over her separation anxiety resulting from her catless move to the big city.
I hope you enjoy it! Share it with the people in your lives who love cats. (ie. Everyone, amirite? #catsrule)
Speaking of which, I’m taking Peanut to the vet on Thursday because she keeps scratching her face so much she looks like Heath Ledger’s Joker. Pet ownership is the greatest! Now, where’s Dad’s credit card, again?
What? These are two of the things I thought were crucial to good comedy, bitter negativity, self-deprecation and some sexy sexy smarts. Isn’t that why so many of the writers for The Simpsons and Conan etc., went to Harvard? (Or was that justConan?)
It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve been back from the Ottawa/Montreal leg of our Comedy Before the Frost tour and I still haven’t had the time to post any of the photos or videos. But I’m working on it. I promise.
I had my first Level D class at the Second City Training Centre this past Monday (Rob Baker‘s my teacher – So excited! Uh… the comedian, not the dude from The Tragically Hip – although that would also be cool.) Afterwards, I huddled and dodged the hurricane over to the Main Stage to check out the last little bit of the 2012 Cream of Comedy show, where those 5 performers who were selected from Fresh Meat got to battle it out one last time in hopes of winning the Tim Sims Engouragement Fund Finally, Christi Olson was declared victor and was awarded $5k & a scholarship to the Training Centre. Good on her. She’s hilarious and totally deserves it. Also, I hear she needs money to buy meds, so… good. Comedy’s literally keeping this girl alive.
Kudos to the producer Deanna Palazzo for putting for the hard work she put into Fresh Meat and CoC this year. They were both really fantastic performances, which ran smoothly, professionally and hilariously, just as planned.
I don’t know why, but because I didn’t know Tim Sims, I derived great pleasure out of recognizing him from the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups commercials where he played Rory Tate, the scientist tracking mysterious peanut butter and chocolaty crop circles. I REMEMBER those! I guess it makes me feel better because I can acknowledge that though I never got to see Tim perform live, some element of his performance has been ingrained in my memory – so I feel better about being nominated to be in a competition for award in his name. Does that make sense? I don’t care. It does to me.
IT DOES TO ME!
Anyway, C0C was hosted by Kristeen von Hagen, who is hilarious. And, having heard she was in town, the wonderful Jess Beaulieu snagged her up to headline her and Laura Bailey‘s popular CHICKA-BOOM show, on which I got to perform with some other fun sketch and improv comedians and none other than Royal Canadian Air Farce veteran, Luba Goy.
The Canadian Ukrainian Princess
“What? Brie, that’s amazing!”
I know. You don’t have to tell me that. I feel it too.
She performed a great little bit of stand-up and included some of the fan favorites, including Kim Campbell & Donald Duck. After the show, Luba kept us out too late for a Sunday, telling the hosts they need to hurry up, get married and have babies (not with each other…) before their parts dry up. She then picked up what is probably the Free Times Café owner’s family heirloom, a sweet old accordion, without permission and went to town on it – telling us tales of her own one-of-a-kind childhood accordion, which her friend traded in sans permission. Tragedy, right?
Who could say anything though? She’s Ukrainian Canada’s sweetheart!
Also, Luba tells me I’m no longer allowed to drink sweet white wine, so… I have to settle for Pinot Grigio these days.
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT LUBA SAYS!!!! BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN OTHERWISE.
The Stratford edition of Comedy Before the Frost is now history and marks the first out-of-town comedy show I’ve produced (well, co-produced.)
I think I would qualify it as a success in that people we do not know were in attendance and paid money to listen to us tell jokes. Not thousands of people, but people. One of whom had reserved in advance for a group – as a birthday celebration. We were part of someone’s major life event! (If you consider a birthday a major life event, which I do.)
I was especially touched when I noticed my good pals from Sarnia in the crowd; friends I’ve known since high school (actually, I think I knew Josée before high school, she can correct me if I’m wrong,) who’d made the trek down specifically to see me perform. That’s dedication, folks. That’s friendship. They traveled further than I did to get to that venue. These two are the best kind of people there is. Afterwards, they treated us comics to drinks and billiards, which is like…gold for comics. Sweet liquid, billiard-y gold.
Jerry Shaefer, our host, performed some really funny, interesting and unique stuff – which I was really excited to see because it didn’t fit in with the regular run-of-the-mill host. He took some time to look into work we’d all done in the past, which was really nice and considerate – and he told stories, played characters and was just damn delightful to watch perform. The birthday-boy was especially excited when he found out Jerry used to be on the Red Green show. Apparently he was a huge fan.
We also made connections that will hopefully lead to more shows in Stratford, a lovely town in which to perform. A town you KNOW values live entertainment.
If thy beist thou boyfriend
But first, time to get our sights set on Ottawa and Montreal. I’m hoping for a bigger crowd for both these shows, and to recognize a few friendly familiar faces.
Also, more liquid billiard-y gold would be nice.
Check out our new Comedy Before the Frostwebsite for news and info about our upcoming tour through Stratford, Ottawa and Montreal.
Brie Watson 